Sunday, August 10, 2008

marriage for lifers



let's face it. marriage is hard. we will celebrate our 33rd anniversary this next january. i (vickey) tell gunther "you were the best decision i ever made". at the same time, marriage is the hardest thing i have ever done. the payoffs are amazing, but so is the work involved.

we see couples fall by the wayside all the time. young ones, old ones - newlyweds, oldlyweds. literally it scares the hell out of us. so we have made a decision. we will do all we can to be married for life - just as we promised on day one. but we also want to do all we can to help others stay married for life.

that's what this blog is all about. along the way, we've learned a few things. and we will share what we've learned. we'll also be honest about the places where we still fall short. the good, the bad, and the ugly of living a life together. not just existing under the same roof - but doing it well - and staying in love in the process.

we welcome your feedback, your questions, your stories. let's root each other on and make a good thing even better.

enjoying the journey - gunther and vickey



9 comments:

Carole said...

In today’s society everything is so disposable. If it does not work, throw it away and get a new one. Maybe the next one will work better…
My Husband and I are both divorcees, each one of us came from previous marriages. We have now been married for 13 years and still counting. We want to endure our lives together and it takes a lot of work. Our marriage is a marathon not a sprint. However most of the time it feels like a sprint.
What we have learned that keeps us close is open communication. No matter what the topic is you need to listen with interest and respond. Without constant communication you fall out of touch with each other, lose interest and commonalities. You need to be in touch and aware of what your partner is up to and doing. Did they get a haircut, buy a new pair of shoes, fill up your car with gas or put a love note in your lunch? You must make it a point to take the time to make mention of the change or thoughtfulness. Share with each other. Do something out of the ordinary with each other to keep life exciting. Our marriage is a partnership and we have both have learned the art of compromise, a meeting in the middle. These are the tools that have made our marriage a success so far. My husband is my best friend and I am his best friend. I know because he just told me so. Rudy and Carole

Anonymous said...

Wow! So well said! I love the way you include each other in your day by sharing the small stuff. It's so easy to fall into the path of least resistance, and as you said "fall out of touch with each other". You've inspired us!

Cameron Ingalls said...

This blog is sooo amazing! Keep rocking the free web-world.

Anonymous said...

Hey Vickey & Gunther....Love the idea of a blog about the ups and downs of marriage. It's the best thing we've ever done and the hardest thing we've ever done. It takes practice to truly listen to our partner's heart and to put aside our own selfish desires. The momentary pleasure of "getting my own way" is far surpassed by the pleasure of seeing my husband happy and content.
Our best advice: PRAY TOGETHER DAILY!!! Listen to what God has to say to you and obey Him. By talking hand in hand with Christ our marriage is bound to success.

Anonymous said...

Vunny and Gickey - man - whad-u get married at - 13 or something!?!? You guys look scarily young in that pic! Was it even LEGAL?

Glad you're on the web. Now I can abuse you regularly! ;)

Dreaming of California...but affording Virginia Beach,

Chris (and Shelly...kind of..)

Anna Ingalls said...

Hey Mom - You and Dad rock. Glad you are doing this - You definitely have a lot to give. Your the bomb.com

krystal marie said...

so im new to this blogger thing, but im slowly figuring it out. i was just browsing the site i suppose and ran across your blog. i cant begin to tell you how lucky i am either. I am engaged for going on a year and a half and have post poned the wedding twice already. my personality is one of when things frighten me or make me nervous i "run" sometimes literally sometimes metaphorically. anywho, i just wanted to say that by reading your blog i definately have a new perspective on things. I am young and have a lot to learn about marriage, i realize it is going to take work, but your blog has inspired me. there are days when i think if it wasnt for our daughter together would we still want to be together? and on the other hand there are days were i think how could i have gotten any luckier?... as a young mom and a young woman trying to figure out who she is as a mother and as an individual it can be almost complex looking at our relationship, any advice or feedback would be wonderful.

Married for Keeps said...

wow krystal marie! the fact that you are so in touch with where you are is a big step in the right direction. i would strongly suggest that you and your fiance go through some pre-marital counselling. many local churches offer such programs. ask around. we think every engaged couple should be equipped with all the tools possible before saying "i do". the best to you both on the journey ahead!

Marlene said...

As someone who benefitted so much by the best pre-marital counselors ever (Gunther and Vicky!), I agree that it is a must before marriage!